i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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