only if we run a train.
done.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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