what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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