Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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