On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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