Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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