Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
