he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
