she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
