He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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