Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
