So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
