I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
