I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
