As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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