i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
