dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
