D3 body, D1 cock
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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