I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
