too bad you live with your parents still
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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