Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
