I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
