Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
