just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
