Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
