ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
