The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
