is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm just crazy horny about you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
