What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
