My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm both gender and math confused
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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