Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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