i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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