Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
