Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dignity is for republicans.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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