Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
