she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
