You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
