i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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