I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
