We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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