stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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