Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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