The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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