there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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