is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
