I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
