I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
porn star boner night. come get it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
