No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize