Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
