i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
