I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
