The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
