Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
