She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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