I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
