we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
