Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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