I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
